TIE HoyHow can parents talk about cultural identity after moving abroad?
Start a family conversation about your child’s own sense of belonging, without defining identity for them.
How do I respond to “I do not belong in either place”?
Ask what your child means before assigning an identity.
Ask when that feeling appears, then paraphrase and let them correct you.
UNICEF’s communication guidance supports nonjudgmental listening and open questions. Pause if your child does not want to talk.
What comes after the conversation?
Choose one connection your child wants to keep or try.
A familiar story, a shared interest with classmates or a family chat can be options; let your child choose.
Take bullying to school. If lasting distress disrupts daily life, contact school support and a qualified health professional.
What to do
Listen first; let your child choose one small next action.
Bring
- A comfortable language
- Your child’s own account
- One self-chosen action
- School support contact
Steps
- Choose a willing moment and let your child use a comfortable language.
- Ask one open question; listen and paraphrase without debating where they belong.
- Acknowledge the feeling; pause if they do not want to talk and remain available.
- Agree a small connection and a time to talk again; involve school/professional support when needed.
Basis
UNICEF describes listening, clarifying, paraphrasing and not forcing conversation. The belonging discussion is a family practice; persistent daily-life distress calls for professional assessment.
More questions
Should I keep asking if they do not want to talk?
Pause and make clear you are available. Share something enjoyable without requiring them to disclose feelings.